Optimal grip

The “killer” signs:

Contempt. Doesn’t matter if you’re laughing as you jokingly put each other down. One day it won’t be funny.

Dismissiveness. “Ugh, she’s always like that”

Indifference. “nah it’s nbd whatever”

One partner constantly apologizing for the other. This is not sustainable.

This is bad form – when the hard times hit, they’ll buckle.

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You have to see the world for what it is, in all its brutality, and you need to do this while keeping your heart soft for the beauty that makes it all worthwhile.

I used to be a parrot, echoing other people's ideas, opinions, and beliefs, because I wasn’t sure of my own. I thought that by ‘borrowing’ and mimicking, I’d be more likeable, it’d be easier to seem cool, clever, or to belong. Looking back now, it gives me the ick—the amount of shit I nodded along to, gross. I think I was scared of looking stupid,... See more

Active nonviolence calls us:

1. To learn to recognize and respect “the sacred” in every person, including in ourselves, and in every piece of Creation....


2. To accept oneself deeply, “who I am” with all my gifts and richness, with all my limitations, errors, failings and weaknesses, and to realize that I am accepted by God....


3. To recognize that what I

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This is one of many lessons I’ve learned through birding. It’s a humbling activity, where you can go from being an expert to an amateur just by crossing a few state lines. You have to get comfortable with the not-knowing.