Optimal grip

It’s time in my life to make fewer arguments for things and do more sitting down with things to just experience them. ‘I don’t want to tell you what happened. I want to tell you how it felt,’ is how Namwali Serpell’s latest novel, Furrows, begins. It is also one way of summarizing how the current shift in my personal character is changing my writin... See more

When we hear a phrase like ‘freedom from emotions’, we may have an ambivalent reaction to it. Evoking an image of no-emotions may bring about some fear that our lives will become flat. It is important to understand, however, that this not what results from the practice. On the one hand there is a decrease of emotions and the attachment to emotions,... See more

I know that people really and truly cannot read your mind. It’s easy to think that people are ignoring your wants or emotions because they don’t care about you. But it’s likely that they have no idea what those are. If you’ve told them, they’ve likely forgotten, and may need a reminder — they have their own whole crowded bubble of consciousness goi... See more

We all must admit that our secret inner attitudes are often cruel, attacking, judgmental, and harsh. The ego seems to find its energy precisely by having something to oppose, fix, or change. When the mind can judge something to be inferior, we feel superior. We must recognize our constant tendency toward negating reality, resisting it, opposing it,... See more

In New York, people speak fast. In the American South, they speak slowly. Both of them are a form of politeness, understood in a different way. In New York, you speak quickly because you respect the value of the other person’s time and you don’t want to take up too much of it. In the South, you speak slowly because you want to respect the person by... See more

I am fascinated by my mother’s fascination with clouds. Over a period of just a few years, she took thousands of photographs of the sky, mostly from the deck of her house looking out over the San Luis Valley in Southern Colorado. As she processed the film and archived the contact sheets, she circled and checked various images. Her notations remain ... See more

The Buddha proclaimed, “I teach liberation through non-clinging.”

It’s strange, but I know that it’s common to resist positive emotions, as well as negative ones. Ask yourself, next time you’re doing something enjoyable: are you really surrendering to the full enjoyment available here? The answer will often be no. Perhaps this has something to do with how displays of rapturous delight are often discouraged in ado... See more