on relationships

Being resonant as a person means having a deep and lasting impact on others, often by connecting with them on an emotional or experiential level. This connection is marked by empathy, authenticity, and the ability to inspire and influence others in a meaningful way. Resonance goes beyond just being noticed or acknowledged; it involves creating a... See more

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Understanding “resonance > relevance”

I know that almost nobody hears too many sincere compliments. Compliment them to their face. Then, compliment them behind their back. Practice naming pleasant feelings you have about people, as soon as they bubble up, in the moment: “It’s always fun to see you.” Lower the resistance around this to zero.

Sasha Chapin • 50 Things I Know

Maturity is realizing that you are not supposed to be for everyone. You are not the center of everyone’s universe. At the same time, you are the creator of your own. You get to decide who gets to be a part of your story, and how much

Brianna W

People don't want you to be perfect. What they want is to feel connected with you.

Joe Hudson • Tweet

I know that if you have a serious dispute with someone, it will go nowhere unless you clearly name the underlying emotion that you’re struggling with. If you’re afraid that your partner will abandon you, cataloging their flaws will not communicate this effectively.

Sasha Chapin • 50 Things I Know

I know that people really and truly cannot read your mind. It’s easy to think that people are ignoring your wants or emotions because they don’t care about you. But it’s likely that they have no idea what those are. If you’ve told them, they’ve likely forgotten, and may need a reminder — they have their own whole crowded bubble of consciousness

Sasha Chapin • 50 Things I Know

if your significant other asks you to do an irritating-for-them task that is not especially difficult, you should be thankful. They have given you an unambiguous way to earn points in the relationship, which is how you get a nice life going. Usually, achieving personal flourishing is more complex than taking out the garbage.

Sasha Chapin • 50 Things I Know

I know that most people overrate the difficulty of hard conversations, and underrate how good it is to have them. Conflict avoidance slowly rots your whole life, and many people are about eight awkward discussions from a much-improved existence.