On Community
How To Build Radical Community
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tiktok.com‘Let me know if you need anything’ vs. my friends
“We keep others a at distance to protect ourselves, but this also harms us. We reject before potentially being rejected to protect ourselves, but this also harms us. We cling to protect ourselves, but this also harms us. At some point, all the self-protection becomes self-harm.”
-Marisa G. Franco, PhD.
We too often think that deep conversations have to be painful or vulnerable conversations. I try to compensate for that by asking questions about the positive sides of life: “Tell me about a time you adapted to change.” “What’s working really well in your life?” “What are you most self-confident about?” “Which of your five senses is strongest?”
... See moreDavid Brooks • How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
"Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are."
Brene Brown
Interesting idea in Margo's Got Money book that being loved is the only way to be safe. It's a form of collaring. 'If the world doesn't know you're loved, then you're trash.' There's an example in the book where Margo's at the hospital and she doesn't have any emergency contacts, the nurse at the hospital gets snooty with her and she wants to make sure her dad doesn't feel that way. People treat you differently when they know someone cares about you.
Maybe that's why we try so hard to fight for it, to prove to ourselves and others that we are loved. Because it's the only thing that gives us value.
God is love. Good thing God loves us.