learning to lose

When you lose someone, in whatever capacity, you lose a universe of tiny things that existed between you. And perhaps what is worse, you also lose the potential that universe has to expand.

Grief doesn't go away. It exists on a different plain from life and intersects less and less with life as time goes on. The last place it visits you is in dreams. By this time, you don’t want it to go away.

Gratitude becomes the color with which I paint your memory; this is intentional. Change is hard for me becomes change is a human inevitability, but I can see how your presence has guided the trajectory. I think of how I am a patchwork quilt of all the people I have loved and of all the people who have loved me. When I drink coffee, I feel the warmt

The thing I’ve learned over time is that friendships are not fungible—no two people are the same, obviously, but also you can’t replicate the experience of someone knowing you through a particular era of your life. You can never go back to that period of your life; you can never replace the people who witnessed you and supported you. To me, relinqu

pure love never dies, we just stop updating the context that feeds the immediate feeling.

Starting from Nix

As long as there is love, there will be grief. The grief of time passing, of life moving on half-finished, of empty spaces that were once bursting with the laughter and energy of people we loved.

As long as there is love there will be grief because grief is love's natural continuation. It shows up in the aisles of stores we once frequented, in the h

It’s hard to be soft when you’re panicked about how much you’ve lost. Mourning huge losses will warp your understanding of everything around you. Sometimes trauma makes a big thinker like you raise their expectations beyond what is reasonable or rational. You’re grappling with so much buried pain that you believe that you need perfection, you requi

To let go, when you know you have to is like choosing both grief and hope. Hope that you have control over your life, hope that there is something that is more in alignment for you out there. But you are giving up the possibility of the known joy. There must have been something you are letting go of that is meaningful and beautiful. Letting go, for