Identity

I need a permission slip to stop being so serious and afraid. I need permission to have fun today

challenge at least two of the counterproductive assumptions Clare’s story revealed: the feeling that she had to force herself—that there needed to be an inner conflict; and that this constant conflict is normal,

therapy trying to figure out why being perfect at literally everything felt like the answer.

Grief for the girl who never belonged anywhere and a longing to figure out who I was, what I liked, what I believed in, and where I wanted to go

that I didn’t have the capability to recognize what was preventing me from feeling happy in the first place

I solely identified with expectations that weren’t really mine, and with the stories that ran on loop in my head. I didn’t know it then, but I was aware of only a small slice of reality, one that was keeping me trapped in a body that was constantly aching and burning out, and in a mind that was full of emotional anguish, resentment, and bitterness.

Like the tiger, we dream of the savannah, the rainforest and the mangrove swamp. We want to hunt and fuck and bask in the sun. We want to climb trees and drink from freshwater streams. We want to pursue our true calling and live to our full potential. I believe this desire is in every one of us. And when it’s suppressed long enough, we rebel.