Hmmm

Most arguments aren’t actually about what was said. They’re about what wasn’t felt.

An easy way to increase agency is to remove "problem" from your vocabulary and replace it with "puzzle". It sounds absurd but "problem" activates your amygdala and "puzzle" activates your prefrontal cortex. Try it. Self-induced placebo that works.

If nobody in your life holds you accountable, nobody relies on you for anything important

Cheating (emotional or physical) typically happens when a partner is not able to own their wants in a relationship, and instead goes elsewhere to find love. Hint: This happens more than you think

If you aren't in the VIEW mindset, that means blocking off information. 'Impartiality' is a way of listening and acting without having an agenda, without choosing a side in the conflict ahead of the needed knowledge. 'Wonder' is a version of curiosity where the desire to know

Everything in life comes with trade-offs. I highly recommend using ~decision trees w/ several layers, doing thought experiments to figure out what you actually value. Some things have near-infinite consequences or rewards; you gotta factor that in.

Your fantasies about another are never actually about that person. They are actually about you, your desires, wishes, unmet needs projected onto that person, continual stories where that person is not really a character, but a prop.