Parenting and family stuff

Whenever we lie to kids to protect them, we're usually also lying to keep the peace.

One consequence of this sort of calming lie is that we grow up thinking horrible things are normal. It's hard for us to feel a sense of urgency as adults over something we've literally been trained not to worry about. When I was about 10 I saw a documentary on... See more

“The fact is, most of the freedom I had before kids, I never used. I paid for it in loneliness, but I never used it.I had plenty of happy times before I had kids. But if I count up happy moments, not just potential happiness but actual happy moments, there are more after kids than before. Now I practically have it on tap, almost any bedtime.”

Walter Isaacson on the link between suffering and greatness and those with happy childhoods: “We grow up with fewer demons but we grow up with less drive. We end being Boswell and not Johnson. We end up being the observer and not the doer. Respect those who are in the arena…” A few... See more

addressing the behavior first or only addressing the behavior is a band-aid solution, whether it’s done through punishment or appeasement. It may stop the behavior in the moment, but it never gets to the root of the issue.