Whenever we lie to kids to protect them, we're usually also lying to keep the peace.
One consequence of this sort of calming lie is that we grow up thinking horrible things are normal. It's hard for us to feel a sense of urgency as adults over something we've literally been trained not to worry about. When I was about 10 I saw a documentary on... See more
For what it’s worth, in raising our own kids we created an effective, balanced, common-sense approach based not on rules but on three principles. Treat everyone with respect. Whatever you undertake, give it your best effort. You, and only you, are accountable for your actions.