Parenting and family stuff
good stuff from around the internet on raising good kids, building a family, etc.
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Parenting and family stuff
But because adults conceal their flaws, and at the same time insist on high standards of behavior for kids, a lot of kids grow up feeling they fall hopelessly short. They walk around feeling horribly evil for having used a swearword, while in fact most of the adults around them are doing much worse things.
Lies We Tell Kids
The questions from the article:
“What did you learn today?” vs. “What did you disagree with today?”
“What did you accomplish this week?” vs. “What did you fail at this week?”
“Here’s how you do that.” vs. “How would you solve this problem?”
“Here’s your new kindergarten” vs. “What kindergarten do you want to attend?”
“That’s just the way it is.” vs. “Great question. Why don’t you figure out the answer?”
“You can’t do that.” vs. “What would it take to do that?”
“Did you make a new friend today?” vs. “How did you help someone today?”
In the mid-1990s, Dr. Marshall Duke and Dr. Robyn Fivush developed a measure called “Do You Know?” It had a series of 20 questions, including: Do you know where your grandparents grew up? Do you know where your mom and dad went to high school? Do you know where your parents met? Do you know an illness or something terrible that happened in your family? Do you know the story of your birth? It turned out that having the answers to these questions was the single best predictor of children’s emotional health and happiness. Children who know more about their families tend to do better when they face challenges, be more resilient, and moderate the effects of stress. Our family’s story—our history—is linked to our own personal identity and knowing that we belong to a larger family. “Children who have the most self-confidence have . . . a strong 'intergenerational self.’ They know they belong to something bigger than themselves,” said Dr. Duke…
Proponents of Positive Discipline believe that most misbehavior stems from mistaken beliefs or goals in a child’s attempt to achieve belonging and significance. He thinks that his belonging or significance has either been threatened or destroyed and he is acting in a way to remedy the situation. This may be because he lacks the knowledge or skills... See more
Samantha Joy • Discipline as Encouragement
as far as I can tell, the main difference between people who are completely overwhelmed with parenting and those who are having a great time raising their kids is that the latter don't really consider it a big deal when their children are upset with a decision they made
Maria Made in Cosmosx.com