Being nice is all about making the other person feel good. Being kind is about providing them with what they actually need. Nice is about feelings. Kindness is about concrete help. And if you want to do great work together, you should aim to be kind rather than nice.
Feedback is ineffective if it does NOT result in the other person taking action in a way they or you feel good about.
As the remixed Dostoevsky quote goes, All effective feedback is alike; each piece of ineffective feedback is ineffective in its own way.
Ineffective feedback is feedback the other person…
…already knew, so they don’t do anything differ... See more
There's a great quote that Nick Saban said. He said that average players want to be left alone. Good players want to be coached, and great players want to be told the truth. Michael had a giant ego and a giant drive, but he would run up to the coach and tell me what I need to get better at.