Delivering Feedback
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Delivering Feedback
Being nice is all about making the other person feel good. Being kind is about providing them with what they actually need. Nice is about feelings. Kindness is about concrete help. And if you want to do great work together, you should aim to be kind rather than nice.
“People listen better if they feel that you have understood them. They tend to think that those who understand them are intelligent and sympathetic people whose own opinions may be worth listening to. So if you want the other side to appreciate your interests, begin by demonstrating that you appreciate theirs.”
― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes:
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When delivering tough feedback, use this framework:
Start directly: “I want to chat with you about [specific issue]”
Share observations: “What I’m hearing/seeing is [specific examples]”
Connect to impact: “We both know that to be successful here...”
Focus on future: “Let’s discuss how we can improve this going forward”
If someone gets defensive during... See more
Start directly: “I want to chat with you about [specific issue]”
Share observations: “What I’m hearing/seeing is [specific examples]”
Connect to impact: “We both know that to be successful here...”
Focus on future: “Let’s discuss how we can improve this going forward”
If someone gets defensive during... See more
Most people suck at giving feedback.
Here’s a framework for feedback that creates behavior change:
Wes Kaotwitter.comInstead of telling people what I think of a proposal, a product, a feature, whatever, I ask them instead what they think. Were they thrilled with it? Absolutely love it? Most of the time I would hear, “It's okay,” or “It's not bad.” They would surmise from my facial expression that this wasn't the answer I was looking for. Come back when you are... See more