A fantastic insight by Lisa Feldman Barrett: When someone expresses anxiety, the first thing you should do is ask: do you want empathy or do you want a solution?
Will 100% use this phrase going forward.
Feeling Uncertain Doesn't Make You Weak, Weird, or Unqualified
Some years back my wife and I got into the habit of asking each other
‘do you want comfort or solutions’ when the other was having a bad time. That one sentence can save us from an argument 9/10 times.
A phrase I heard recently and found useful: I agree with the idea, but I disagree with the tone.
Many ideas get dismissed because they are delivered in a cocky or hostile or dismissive tone—or because of who delivers them.
Separate substance from style.