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“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”

If I were to listen to stories about “that bad person” or “poor me,” and sympathize with your plight by saying things like, “That must have been tough,” or “It’s not your fault at all,” it is true that you might get some temporary solace. And you might even have a sense of satisfaction that it was good to get counseling, or good to consult this

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Is it all right to just stay away from other people, and shut oneself up in one’s room? No, it is not all right. It is not all right at all. The reason it is not is that all the joy of humanity comes from interpersonal relationships too. A person living “all alone in the universe” would have to lead a life that is utterly flat and featureless, with

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The difficulty in speaking openly is caused, not by the desire for approval as such, but by resistance to that desire. By expressing the desire either aloud to the person concerned or internally, we increase the sense of self-respect and autonomy. We also free the mind to be aware that there is a wider context, other needs, and that the most

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Being honest also helps. Every time I’ve shared the burdens and realities of what I’m going through with others, either 1:1 or publicly, the universe finds mysterious ways to help. People are tired of filters and polished stories of overnight success. Vulnerability is refreshing.

Lastly, I read something recently (I don’t know where) that I jotted... See more

“People who are direct are generally in touch with themselves and their desires. People who are habitually indirect usually aren’t. This is because people who are indirect don’t have much experience with their inner world making contact with the outer world. They sit and theorize instead of saying it out loud and seeing... See more