bits of wisdom
In 1817, the poet John Keats wrote a letter to his brothers to share this exciting realization. “At once it struck me,” Keats wrote, “what quality went to form a Man of Achievement … Negative Capability.” Keats explains that “Negative Capability” is “when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching ... See more
Rob Tourtelot added 6mo
That sharp turn away from blaming others happens once you finally address your shame. Shame is something everyone has, thanks to our shame-ruled, shame-dispensing culture, but some people obviously have it worse than others. I’ve always been massively ashamed and self-hating, and for a long time, even in Ask Polly, I described shame as a thing you ... See more
Talking about friendship with Heather Havrilesky
Rob Tourtelot added 6mo
But getting older is hard. It is a gift, yes, but it is also heavy. Just as the doors of possibility become fewer and farther between, the burden of grief gets bigger. As the years pass, our losses in life accumulate, threatening to weigh us down. It takes active effort—breaths, walks, conversations with friends, rest—to slow down and remember tha
... See moreKatie Hawkins Gaar • Is This It? This is It.
Rob Tourtelot added 6mo
GEORGE SAUNDERS: I think ultimately it would be, are you benefiting the people in proximity to you? And truly benefiting them. And that in itself is, how would you know?
EZRA KLEIN: Yeah, how would you know is, I think, often a harder problem that we give it credit for. Why in proximity?
GEORGE SAUNDERS: Well, I think that’s the place to start. And s... See more
EZRA KLEIN: Yeah, how would you know is, I think, often a harder problem that we give it credit for. Why in proximity?
GEORGE SAUNDERS: Well, I think that’s the place to start. And s... See more
Transcript: Ezra Klein Interviews George Saunders (Published 2021)
Rob Tourtelot added 4mo
Rob Tourtelot added 6mo
intimacy with others necessarily includes facing yourself, reckoning with what you truly desire, humbling yourself, noticing your bad habits, and observing your defense mechanisms. You have to be able to admit the many, many ways you fuck up and blame others and distance yourself every day in order to be a good friend to another flawed human being.... See more
Talking about friendship with Heather Havrilesky
Rob Tourtelot added 6mo
Nowadays, there are four things that are gonna decide if I have a good day. Did I sleep enough? Did I connect deeply with people I love? Did I get some time to myself? Did I make choices for my body that felt good—like, did I take a good walk, did I eat healthy, did I exercise? If I get those four things in place, usually my days are pretty good.
Clay Skipper • Ezra Klein’s Formula for a Good Day Involves These Four Things
Rob Tourtelot added 6mo
Understanding that nothing is permanent will have us understand that this moment will never be again - there may be similar moments, there may be more beautiful or uglier moments, but this specific moment will never be again. When we know this, being present and seeing meaning even in the most mundane of things becomes very easy because every momen... See more
Naida • Ten Ways to Breathe Meaning into Existence
Rob Tourtelot added 6mo
I think in a lot of these Eastern systems, the delusion is that we’re trapped inside this little machine that thinks it’s central, and permanent, and all-important and is always thinking it’s about its little victory narrative. But when you step out of it for a second, you see that it’s just a temporary construction of neurology, or karma, or whate... See more
Transcript: Ezra Klein Interviews George Saunders (Published 2021)
Rob Tourtelot added 4mo
Sometimes this takes the shape of resistance: I decide a feeling or a situation is bad on the spot and start to fight back before I know what’s there. Other times, this takes the shape of discomfort and shame: I am feeling a new way, so something must be wrong .
Heather Havrilesky • Tolerating Unknowns Will Make You Stronger
Rob Tourtelot added 7mo