When we say to ourselves, “This feels bad. I need a way to fix this!” that’s the very moment when the most growth and promise lies at our fingertips. But in order to access it, we have to do the opposite of what we want to do. We have to resist the urge to analyze or find a solution or protect ourselves from our emotions.
Sometimes this takes the shape of resistance: I decide a feeling or a situation is bad on the spot and start to fight back before I know what’s there. Other times, this takes the shape of discomfort and shame: I am feeling a new way, so something must be wrong .
Sometimes my reactions are so rapid that I don’t have time to take in where I am before I start telling stories about what’s happening and what action needs to be taken.
When you look back at the most fruitful moments of your life years from now, you’ll be surprised to discover how many of them unfolded amid a big loss or a crisis or in the face of a giant unknown.