agency

Last May, when our oldest daughter Maud turned seven, I wrote:

I wish I had a book that I could put in her hands, and it helps her learn what many never learn, or learn too late, namely, that the possibilities are much bigger than you think, that you can live more deeply, and truly, and that you can solve almost any problem if you put your mind to

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Or phrased negatively, the opposite of agency can mean one of two things. Either (1) doing what you are “supposed to do,” playing social games that do not align with what, on reflection, seems valuable to you and/or (2) being passive or ineffective in the face of problems (assuming your problems can’t be solved, that someone else should solve them,... See more

The logic is simple. Most people ask “Can I have a raise?” or “Can I get a free upgrade?” The framing of these questions allows room for a simple “No,” and when you’re asking for something wild (e.g., “Can I get into the VIP section with only a GA ticket?” ) the answer ought to be “No.” By reframing all your requests with “What will it take” you... See more

This is what I infer when I see someone who is comfortable in their unique strangeness, too. There probably exists someone who enabled that evolution of personality. A parent, a friend group, a spouse. It is rare for people to come into themselves if no one is excited and curious about their core, their potential. We need someone who gives us space... See more

Investigating whether things are really as hard as they look. Usually, they aren't. Many things look super hard, prove to be quite easy. But to discover that, an attempt must be made. Effort must come before success.