i've found that embodying deep okayness marks the beginning of a multi-year process of feeling deep pain.. but with no/minimal suffering
when we finally get a taste of true self-love & secure attachment with reality, all parts of ourselves that feel unloved scramble from the shadows to the surface in order to be met and attuned to with that love
... See more
Instead of identifying with my unpleasant thoughts/feelings (this is me and I hate it, I suck) or fighting them (this isn’t me and I reject it), I now try to understand them as emanations of parts of me, which I then engage with in a spirit of open-hearted curiosity.
Sasha Chapin • How I Attained Persistent Self-Love, Or, I Demand Deep Okayness for Everyone
I know that if I get under the surface there is nearly always some part of me at play here, some part of me in pain. And I can trust that it needs my empathy and kindness.
Peter Gill • The Way of Curiosity : Discovering wisdom through listening to the body
So when they are criticizing you, look for the feeling and need underneath it and try to ask the person about that.