
i've found that embodying deep okayness marks the beginning of a multi-year process of feeling deep pain.. but with no/minimal suffering
when we finally get a taste of true self-love & secure attachment with reality, all parts of ourselves that feel unloved scramble from the shadows to the surface in order to be met and attuned to with that love
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Instead of identifying with my unpleasant thoughts/feelings (this is me and I hate it, I suck) or fighting them (this isn’t me and I reject it), I now try to understand them as emanations of parts of me, which I then engage with in a spirit of open-hearted curiosity.
Sasha Chapin • How I Attained Persistent Self-Love, Or, I Demand Deep Okayness for Everyone
I know that if I get under the surface there is nearly always some part of me at play here, some part of me in pain. And I can trust that it needs my empathy and kindness.
Peter Gill • The Way of Curiosity : Discovering wisdom through listening to the body
So when they are criticizing you, look for the feeling and need underneath it and try to ask the person about that.