“Do you want to vent or do you want advice?” Just learning now, after 40 years on earth, that this might be the most important question to ask whenever a friend or loved one is upset.
Another good way to start practicing paying attention to your own needs is noticing when you are starting to feel “quietly” frustrated, resentful, angry, or upset about something. When you feel this tension, immediately get curious: Do I have an unspoken expectation or need I’m not expressing? Is there a request of someone else I’m not making that
... See moreAmy Jen Su • The Leader You Want to Be
The next time a friend or family member shares a problem with you and does not explicitly ask you for advice, say “That makes sense,” or another one of the validating statements above rather than offering a solution. Sometimes people say, “I just don’t know what to do!” which sounds like an invitation to offer a solution but may not be. If that hap
... See moreMichele Hansen • Deploy Empathy: A Practical Guide to Interviewing Customers
When dealing with a partner, ask yourself, “Did my partner actually ask me to solve this problem for her?” If the answer is no, then stop “helping” so much.