The Helping Paradox
The more you need help with something, the less others want to give it to you.
The less you need help, the easier it is to get.
People want to help those who have first helped themselves—or who display the appearance of self-sufficiency.
Alex Broganx.comThe Helping Paradox The more you need help with something, the less others want to give it to you. The less you need help, the easier it is to get. People want to help those who have first helped themselves—or who display the appearance of self-sufficiency.
Help-seekers dramatically underestimate how willing others are to help and overestimate how awkward the ask will be. Helpers? The opposite. They predict the ask is coming and that it’s fine
Dr. Todd Kashdan • Stingy Compassion, Quiet Misery, and High Achievers
Edgar Schein has untangled the paradox of being helpful in his excellent book Helping. At its crux is the insight that when you offer to help someone, you “one up” yourself: you raise your status and you lower hers, whether you mean to or not.
amazon.com • The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever
The helper’s high also shows us that asking for help from others can actually be a gift to them, rather than the burden we usually assume it will be.