1. Pause and collect yourself.


2. Process by naming your emotion.


3. Plan by assessing your skills, capabilities, and resources.


4. Proceed , treating your next steps as experiments and adjusting as you go.

The next time you’re in the middle of a stressful situation, ask yourself, “Am I focusing on the problem or the solution?”

Think of all the ways that someone could solve a specific problem. No, really think. Give yourself clarity, not sympathy—there’ll be plenty of time for that later. It’s an exercise, which means it takes repetition. The more you try it, the better you get at it.