Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?

Self-soothing is any set of behaviours that help you to feel safe and soothed as you experience a painful emotion.

Painful problems can be so overwhelming and demanding of our attention that we start to focus more on that and less on what we want instead.

until we switch off the TV, close down the app, or sober up, and then the feelings come back. Each time we go round that cycle the feelings come back even more intense.

What matters more is the practice of stopping before you buy into a thought as fact and actively considering other views.

When feeling low, what are your go-to responses? Do those responses provide instant relief from the pain and discomfort? What effect do they have in the long term? What do they cost you? (Not in money, but in time, effort, health, progress.)

We cannot directly choose our emotions and switch them on but we can use the things we can control to change how we feel.

But when you start something new you have to carve out a fresh path, sometimes from scratch.

If you try to hold the waves back and prevent them reaching the shore, you learn how powerful those waves are. They push you back and you quickly get engulfed and overwhelmed. But you don’t have to tumble and struggle against the waves. Those waves are coming no matter what. When you accept that, you can focus on keeping your head above the water a

Is it a behaviour? Do you recognize your blocking or protective behaviours? Where do you feel the emotion in your body? What thoughts are there? What beliefs are you buying into about this situation? What effect is that having on you? Try writing down those thoughts and narratives. What can they tell you about what you are afraid of? What behaviour