Many of those people who never tell a soul when they’re struggling firmly believe that presenting themselves as anything less than their best would make them a burden to the people around them. But the science suggests otherwise.

If we can acknowledge that each of our thoughts presents just one possible idea among many, then we open ourselves up to the possibility of considering others.

Reflecting on moments after they happen will help to gradually build up the skill of noticing the links between those aspects of your experience as they happen.

Mindfulness enables us to use the tool of awareness. Awareness sounds very basic and rather vague but it’s the tool we never know we need until we use it. Switching off the autopilot and building awareness of thoughts, emotions, urges and actions adds in an amber light before the green light flashes and we act on an urge or emotion. It offers us

Metacognition is the process of stepping back from the thoughts and getting enough distance to allow us to see those thoughts for what they really are.

When you have felt that way in the past, what has been the focus of your attention? What might your thoughts/self-talk need to sound like in order for you to feel that way? When you have felt that way before, how did you behave? What did you do more of or less of? If you were to feel that way, how would you need to be treating your body? When you

Our brain already knows from experience what tends to help the quickest. So we feel urges to do whatever will make it all go away as soon as possible.

The metacognition tool of pausing between emotion and action is that same process of stepping back, even just for a moment, to check in with your thoughts and actions

I must have gone through this process a thousand times. Distract, pull back. Distract, pull back.