When in doubt, look for the fear
seths.blog
When in doubt, look for the fear
ANXIETY. The number two reason people don’t see others is that they have so much noise in their own heads, they can’t hear what’s going on in other heads. How am I coming across? I don’t think this person really likes me. What am I going to say next to appear clever? Fear is the enemy of open communication.
David Brooks • How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
The way to recognize a fear response is when you feel yourself trying to hide or trying to prove. We prove and hide every day without being aware of this coping mechanism.
Chris McAlister • Figure That Shift Out
Talking about children but also, unfortunately, adults sometimes, Dr. Becky explains that the tantrum or the thrown punch or the big mistake is not the main event. “It was a window into the main event,” she writes. “Behavior, in all its forms, is a window: into the feelings, thoughts, urges, sensations, perceptions, and unmet needs of a person.
... See moreUnderstanding all behavior makes sense with sufficient information transforms how we view others. It challenges us to move beyond snap judgments and approach things with curiosity. Instead of asking, ‘why are they acting like this’ we can try, ‘what might I not know about their world?’
Adam Singer • All behavior makes sense with sufficient information
When you see someone doing something that doesn’t make sense to you, ask yourself what the world would have to look like to you for those actions to make sense.