If an awkward situation makes us feel shame, it’s because it seems to reveal something bigger, more global, about who we are.

Shame That Destroys Employing shame to control people, however, is a misuse of power. When Gandhi was asked how so few British could control the enormous numbers of Indian citizens, he replied, “They humiliate us to control us.” So it is with anyone who intentionally, or out of deep and unexamined old learning controls another by means of

Shame: Is fear of ridicule and belittling used to manage people and/or to keep people in line? Is self-worth tied to achievement, productivity, or compliance? Are blaming and finger-pointing norms? Are put-downs and name-calling rampant? What about favoritism? Is perfectionism an issue? Comparison: Healthy competition can be beneficial, but is