Some of us try to find safety by being alone. Some of us look for safety through others, either by pleasing them or dominating them. Many of us try to persuade others to be more like we are. But whatever strategy we use, we are all seeking safety.

The developmental need of aggressive-patterned people is to feel safe by being held, contained, and protected by something bigger than them — something good and kind, but also stronger and more capable than they are. Within this safety, they need to have all parts of them accepted, valued, and reflected back, especially the small, weak, needy

Aggressive-patterned people also recreate their childhood experience of being too much for others by inflating themselves and using their size and energy to intimidate others.