Hi friend,

I’m having a bit of a tough time at the moment.

Normal challenges are harder than they should be.

Everything is more difficult than usual.

My mood and my energy and my resilience are low.

I’m anxious and imagining bad outcomes happening everywhere, even though there is no reason to.

On days like these I think it’s important to remember a few things…

1 Life will not be like this forever.

Nothing is permanent. Good or bad.

When you’re on top of the world it won’t last for as long as you hope, when the world is on top of you it won’t last for as long as you fear.

You feel like a sleepy balloon right now.

Soon enough it will just be a memory of something you got through.

It’s just one day, one activity, one thought at a time.

Keep plodding.

2 Mundane successes are big wins.

Success may previously have been this grand, impressive occasion that occurs in front of other people to fanfare and accolade.

Today you went for a walk, or were kind to that person at the supermarket, or were gentle with yourself when you became frustrated.

Is this as outwardly magnificent as your life’s greatest achievement?

No. But some days feel like you’re lifting on Mars, and other days feel like you’re lifting on Jupiter.

Today is a Jupiter day.

Gravity is heavier than usual right now, so well done for carrying that weight.

Boring victories achieve no fanfare but they are even more meaningful.

3 Go easy on yourself.

You’re going to feel frustrated or resentful or anxious or scared or whatever.

It’s fine. That’s going to happen.

You’re safe, let it move through you.

But you must try to avoid second-order-emotions.

Feeling agitated at being anxious.

Or ashamed about being so resentful.

And then feeling bored at your agitation about your anxiousness or guilty about your shame at your resentments.

If you had a child going through what you are, you wouldn’t chastise them, you’d pick them up and hug them.

So hug you.

4 You do not need to offer the world anything.

Ok you don’t feel as impressive as usual right now.

Does it feel like the world is about to abandon you because you can’t give it something in return?

You did not enter into some trade with reality when you were born, only being accepted for as long as you can provide value as recompense.

Maybe your jokes are less funny and your stories are less original and your aura is less energising.

But you’re not going to be abandoned.

Your friends want to help, and need nothing in return.

And if you have friends who only want to be around you if you’re entertaining them, those aren’t friends, they’re patrons.

5 Judge yourself on your actions not your thoughts.

You felt bad and yet you still did the thing.

Getting the job done in spite of not being in the mood is more impressive, not less.

Stop discounting what you did just because you didn’t feel like doing it.

6 Allow yourself to become a priority.

You have to believe that your needs are important.

Usually you subjugate your desires and put everything else ahead of you.

Stop fixing everyone before yourself for once.

Advocating for what you need is not selfish or narcissistic, it’s just alien to you.

Put yourself first.

7 Ask for help.

Yes you don’t usually need anyone.

Maybe you don’t NEED anyone now either.

But it will be easier if you ask for help.

Allow yourself to become a burden.

Maybe your friends actually want to help you. Maybe they would love the opportunity to care for you.

Consider for a second that it’s actually noble to not always be the super strong competent person who’s never got any vulnerabilities.

8 Don’t worry about not feeling grateful.

Things will happen.

Some good.

It’ll be hard to fully feel appreciation for them.

Your daily experience is swimming in melancholy.

Everything is tough enough as it is.

Don’t make yourself feel worse for not being happier about the little things in life right now.

You would have if you could.

9 You make your most progress when things are hard.

Look back.

Every big period of progress in your life has germinated from your lowest points.

In retrospect, would you have avoided them if you could?

Probably not.

Yes it sucks, but right now will be a gift to your future self.

Tough times stop you from relying on momentum or bravado.

Like going on a hard cut that melts away all the fat. Low points remind you who you truly are underneath.

10 You are not falling behind.

You have this vague sense that you’re falling behind if you’re not always always making progress.

This is a lie.

There is no arbitrary minimum level of productivity you need to meet every day in order to feel worthwhile.

Even olympians get injured and take time off.

Even the best performing stocks have pullbacks.

Expand your time horizon.

Look at your Year-On-Year growth, not Intraday Price.

Your progress has been great, you were overdue a small correction anyway.

You are still in there.

- Chris Williamson’s Newsletter

Resilience: Facing Down Rejection and Criticism on the Road to Success

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