You may be stuck in a loop of compulsive caretaking because you have an unconscious expectation for your parents to be different. Your desire for them to have a good life comes from a place of love, but it is not your task in life to entertain them, enlighten them, bring them out of their anxiety or cure them of their neuroses. Bear in mind that th... See more

By the age of five, the child is already filled with fear and sorrow. A child so young isn’t always able to explain her suffering in a way that others can hear. As she stumbles over her words, adults around her might interrupt or even shout at her. Such language is like ice water thrown over a tender heart. The child may never try to confide in gro

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By the grace of God, I no longer hide from Mom. But I can’t fix everything, either. There is room now for both anger at Mom for the life she chooses and sympathy for the childhood she didn’t. There is room to help when I can, when finances and emotional reserves allow me to care in the way Mom needs. But there is also recognition of my own limitati

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