The 5 Second Rule taught me that action is the answer. Thinking about your problems will never solve them. Waiting around to feel like doing something means you’ll never do it. It taught me that no one is coming to save you. You must save yourself from yourself. You have to force yourself to make little moves forward, all day, every day, especially

It’s about a fundamental law of human nature: All human beings have a hardwired need for control. We all have an innate desire to control everything about our lives: our time, our thoughts, our actions, our environment, our plans, our future, our decisions, and our surroundings. Feeling in control makes you feel comfortable and safe, so naturally y

So when I left home to go to college on the East Coast, it must have triggered this whole fear that I might never come back home. And when I met Chris in New York, who was also from the East Coast, it solidified my mom’s biggest fear that I too would start my life far away and never move back home to my small Midwestern town.

C) SAYING LET ME

Small, Consistent Action Changes Everything

Let’s use the visual of a seesaw on a playground to explain how the power dynamic between you and other people goes up and down, and how to use the Let Them Theory when it happens.

When someone you love is struggling, I want you to picture yourself putting your arm around their shoulders and offering support, as you encourage them to face what they are avoiding. Dr. Ablon calls this the With Them approach.

was starting to create a community for myself. The warmth you offer others always finds its way back to you.

The reality is, no matter how hard you try or what you do, you cannot control other people. And yet, you live your life as if you can.