The smaller the step, the more likely you’ll take it and the more often you’ll engage in what matters to you.

Instead, decide once. Choose now what you’ll get every teacher for every occasion. For Christmas, I give a book.*3

Other Mondays got a dose of determined genius. I’d spend Sunday night maniacally scribbling in my newest planner, organizing every meal I’d make, glass of water I’d consume, errand I’d run,

Streamline Your Routine Vacuum on Thursdays. Clean the mirrors when you dust. Clean the shower before you get out. Clean the toilet before you shower because toilets are gross.

Sure, that thought feels icky, but the real truth is that we don’t resent giving gifts; we resent not having the margin to be more thoughtful about the process.

I tricked myself into thinking I had only two options: try too hard or don’t try at all.

And in this culture of quick fixes and shortcuts, it’s natural to think easy is the goal. But you can’t shortcut a meaningful life.

But we assume, then, if we’re not sweating because of it, we’re not benefiting from it. That goes for exercise, doing laundry, and combating loneliness. If we’re not working excessively hard to make something happen, we might as well give up until we can put forth the effort required.

I was a chameleon in each relationship.