The Intentional Father

One of the highlights of this time was Nate’s decision to get baptized. “Do you want to be a follower of Jesus?” I asked Nate after we had gone through this material. “Do you understand the gospel?” “Yes.” “Do you understand the biblical story? Are you committed to walking with God and practicing the ways of Jesus?” “Yes, I am.” “Do you want to do

Make a list of the people you’d like to be present at this ceremony of blessing. Where would you like to have it? What affirmations should be spoken? What gifts should you give your child? How could you make this an extraordinary night where he delights in, and receives, your blessing?

Are you ready? Here is the process for discipling your son: I do, you watch, we talk. I do, you help, we talk. You do, I help, we talk. You do, I watch, we talk. You do, someone else watches.

What are some things you do yourself, instead of involving your kids, because you know you can do it faster? Could there be opportunities in these spaces for them to learn valuable things?

But during their first week of college, I received frantic calls from two of them. One had lost his virginity at a party, and the other had gotten radically drunk for the first time. They just weren’t equipped; they were not prepared for what college was going to throw at them. They definitely could have used a bit of time between high school and c

I care about this. I don’t care about that. I’ll get in a fight over this. I would get fired over that. I’m willing to go to war over that. Those are the kinds of judgments that become values in our lives, and so I want you to take some time to think through your personal values. What matters to you as an adult? What do you want your child to under

Young men need a liminal space where they are removed from the normal rhythm and routine of life and given time and opportunity to see what is inside them. They need space to encounter those who have grown up in completely different cultural contexts and bond with other men. In modern life, nothing does this quite as well as a gap year.

This is key. This is what men need. All of us need actual discipleship and development, specific advice and skills and ways of living in the world that help us learn how to be good at being men.

I turned Rohr’s five rules into five shifts. Instead of saying, “Life is hard,” I said, “It’s a shift from ease to difficulty.” Instead of saying, “You’re not important,” I said, “Boys care about themselves, but men care about others.” Instead of saying, “Your life is not about you,” I said, “You’re part of the story, but you’re not the whole story