And remember, these aren’t just generic manhood shifts—these are the shifts that help our sons become more like Jesus Christ. Jesus left the ease of heaven to embrace the difficulty of earth and of the cross; Jesus humbled and emptied himself, and he lived for others, not just himself; Jesus moved into a life of obscurity for us; Jesus surrendered,

Young men need a liminal space where they are removed from the normal rhythm and routine of life and given time and opportunity to see what is inside them. They need space to encounter those who have grown up in completely different cultural contexts and bond with other men. In modern life, nothing does this quite as well as a gap year.

Personal Values What matters to you? What do you want to impart to your son? What have you admired in others? What have you learned about pain? What have you learned about joy? What have you learned about God? What have you learned about yourself? What aspirational values do you want to see developed in your son? What values from your mountains and

But healthy masculinity does none of those things. True masculinity has the strength to smash hierarchies, stand up for those on the margins, and lead men into lives where they are stopping abuse from happening.

IMAGINE A FARMER walked down a backcountry road and saw another farmer repairing a fence. His young sons were helping him. “Why are you letting your sons help you?” the first farmer asked. “It’s going to take five times as long. You should just do it yourself.” “Oh, but you’ve made a mistake,” the second farmer said. “You think I’m repairing a fenc

Family Values What do you regard as valuable as a family? Why? How does this show up? What values do you need to embrace to thrive and function in your home? How do you act when under stress? In joy? In boredom?

Whenever we finished a book, I took Nate out for dinner to celebrate his progress, and I gave him experiments where he could demonstrate his newfound leadership skills.

I care about this. I don’t care about that. I’ll get in a fight over this. I would get fired over that. I’m willing to go to war over that. Those are the kinds of judgments that become values in our lives, and so I want you to take some time to think through your personal values. What matters to you as an adult? What do you want your child to under

Without values, a man is rudderless in a sea of relativity and compromise. With values, a man can navigate complexity and confusion with confidence and clarity. Infusing values—those of the family, those of manhood, and personal ones—is a great gift from a father to a son.