The Emotionally Unavailable Man

Living under the dominance of his mother had given him the habit of not taking responsibility for his choices and of not accepting them as his own. It created a kind of emotional detachment, a sense of unreality in him for the consequences of his behavior toward others.

Distressed partners may use different words but they are always asking the same basic questions, “Are you there for me? Do I matter to you? Will you come when I need you, when I call?”

The good husband is often a person who never learned how to take care of himself emotionally. He generally expects a woman to do this for him—his mother, his girlfriend, or his wife. She is there as his emotional security blanket, providing security that he seldom acknowledges. Indeed, he rarely, if ever, expresses any appreciation for her emotiona

own self-worth to continuous obsession with the children’s wellbeing as a means to earn approval and be “a good mother,” which in turn leads her to mature herself in some key areas, though not all. She may pressure her detached husband to change his behaviors and “become a better father,” but because he does not experience the emotional urgency in