Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships

The more we can reach out to our partners, the more separate and independent we can be.

We shape stories, and then stories shape us.

We have only two ways of protecting ourselves and holding on to our connections with our partners when we do not feel safe and responded to. One route is to avoid engagement, that is, to try to numb our emotions, to shut down and deny our attachment needs. The other is to listen to our anxiety and fight for recognition and response.

Ted’s apology is not just a statement of contrition, it is an invitation to reconnect.

Secure connection to a loved one is empowering.

When safe connection seems lost, partners go into fight-or-flight mode. They

The temptation to be the “winner” and to make the other admit she is at fault is just part of the trap.

Attachment relationships are the only ties on Earth where any response is better than none.

‘Look’