The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters

To increase the likelihood of success, Heiferman and his team started to encourage organizers to put more specificity in the title of the group, not just in the description. The tactic “makes it more visible and clear, and it’s exciting to find something that is specific that fits you,”

the director transforms a bunch of actors and extras into a tribe, by making them see one another.

The group collectively improvised a new rule to overrule, temporarily, their usual etiquette. By making it fun and harmless, if slightly embarrassing, they created a fleeting social contract that everyone bought into. The fact that the rule was physical and funny also added some much-needed lightness to the group.

places people and what happens between them at the center of every coming together.

we forgo the possibility of creating something memorable, even transformative.

assume your proper powers as a host.

A group of strangers would gather in a room. Two or three of them would be entrepreneurs or other professionals with a problem. To get into the room, they had to apply for the chance to present their problem to the others. The others were people from varied fields who had applied to volunteer their time to solve someone’s problem. A moderator would

If everyone is invited, no one is invited—in the sense of being truly held by the group. By closing the door, you create the room.

She defines risk as “a threat to one’s current state that could destabilize the way things are.” The risk is what allows for the possibility of the gift.