The Art of Communicating

I define happiness as the capacity to understand and to love, because without understanding and love no happiness could be possible.

It’s nice when a child of any age sits with a parent and asks about their experiences, sufferings, and sources of happiness. Just sit and listen.

Listening to suffering is an essential ingredient for generating understanding and love.

I am listening to this person with only one purpose: to give this person a chance to suffer less.

When irritation or anger arises, we lose our capacity to listen. That’s why we have to practice, so that during the whole time of listening, compassion can remain in our hearts. If we can keep our compassion alive, the seeds of anger and judgment in our hearts will not be watered and spring up. We have to train ourselves first so we’re able to list

The other person may say things that are full of wrong perceptions, bitterness, accusation, and blaming. If we don’t practice mindfulness, their words will set off irritation, judgment, and anger in us, and we will lose our capacity to listen compassionately.

There are two keys to effective and true communication. The first is deep listening. The second is loving speech.

Practicing mindfulness of suffering—recognizing and embracing the suffering in oneself and in the other person—will give rise to the understanding necessary for good communication.

When we listen with compassion, we don’t get caught in judgment. A judgment may form, but we don’t hold on to it.