Typically, the body takes on a V shape, with broad, strong shoulders and narrower hips. The legs are thinner and weaker than would be proportionate. The person is attractive and strong, but may seem top-heavy and ungrounded.

The main thing that merging-patterned people fear is the empty feeling that arises when they are not connected with someone else. This makes them fear being alone, rejected, or abandoned.

Their general approach to both relationship and problem solving is pragmatic. It’s not moral, romantic, or personal. It’s simple and straightforward: “What action do I need to take to get what I want?”

In psychology, this strategy has long been referred to as the co-dependent personality, in which the helper’s attention is not grounded in herself, but focused on the person she is helping.

Becoming a safe person for others to be around will also require that they become able to recognize when they are revving up and going into pattern, and give themselves a time out to cool off before they vent their energy

Their posture tends toward the posture of shame: not quite erect, but instead slightly slumped, with a slight collapse in the mid-torso, and with the tail tucked in and the head lowered.

No matter what survival pattern you’ve gone into, the first step in getting yourself out of pattern is to put your attention on your basic energy skills.

The first thing you are likely to notice is how warm and emotionally expressive she is.

In the physical realm, their aggression is almost always expressed in passive-aggressive acts, such as provoking aggression from others and then using their aggression as an excuse to withdraw from the connection.