The 5 Personality Patterns: Your Guide to Understanding Yourself and Others and Developing Emotional Maturity

When you speak to enduring-patterned people, be authentic. They watch for authenticity. If you’re authentic, it moves them.

The one thing you can be sure of is that their communication isn’t small talk: it is…

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To become the child that others want instead of the child she is, she has to abandon herself and ignore her own perceptions, feelings, impulses, and desires.

we are each most sensitive to the difficulties that help us learn whatever we need to learn to accomplish our life purpose.

They are also rebellious: they love to push the edge, break the rules, and blow out the container.

When you speak with someone who does this survival pattern, make it personal. Let your heart speak to her heart. Tell her what you feel and what you want. Make it specific to the two of you, here and now. Don’t wander off into generalizations or abstractions.

The rigid pattern develops in people who are strongly identified with their inner critic, and for most rigid-patterned people, that identification remains in place for their entire lives. When their inner critic speaks, they hear it as their own voice. In a sense, the rigid pattern is the result of an inner critic that over-develops and grows into

By contrast, a person in the aggressive pattern goes to his core, revs up his energy, and attacks the problem. Aggressive-patterned people will even use stress to shift themselves more into their core. They will seek out stress because being in their core feels so real and so alive.

Having a weak energetic boundary also makes it harder for her to differentiate inside from outside, to separate what is “me” from what is “not me.”