The 5 Personality Patterns: Your Guide to Understanding Yourself and Others and Developing Emotional Maturity

The statement is, “Don’t make me have to kill you.” This is often said in a friendly tone, but it’s an acknowledgment that there is something they want and they…

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The more attuned the rescuer is to the rescuee’s needs, the less self-serving the act is. If the action seems un-attuned and forced, it’s probably…

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However, this is not a black and white, either/or, kind of distinction. Both dynamics may be going on at once: the rescuee may actually need the help, and the rescuer may need to see himself as a hero. What distinguishes the Heroic Rescuer from someone who is simply providing what is needed is the extent to…

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The first thing you’ll notice is that their energy is big and has a pushy, aggressive feeling to it. They will be actively influencing the situation, not sitting back passively or just letting things unfold. They will want to participate in…

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The practitioner notices how the client is tensing her body to try to protect it, and then provides support for that tension. As it feels the support it needs coming from the outside, her body naturally relaxes into that support.

but are more focused on conquering their own fears and limitations than on conquering others. They are strong in the skills and talents of the pattern.

Because a change to an identity structure tends to feel like a threat to the self, we usually resist it.

To reference yourself, put your attention on the core of your body, the place where you are most yourself. When you want to find out something about yourself, this is the place to put your attention. When you wonder how you are feeling, this is the place to look for the answer.

So until an aggressive-patterned person learns to tolerate feeling vulnerable and learns to soothe themselves, they cannot turn their attention to the distress they have caused others, and they cannot even begin the process of apologizing for it.

As soon as they form an intention and begin to marshal their will to act on it, it starts to look like someone else’s intention forcing them to do something against their will, and they feel compelled to resist