Never victimise yourself, no one will care, but your growth will stop — pain may earn you sympathy, but self-pity demands an audience you’ll never keep. Life rewards the ones who turn wounds into wisdom, not those who frame them for pity likes. The moment you cast yourself as the perpetual victim, you hand over the pen that writes your story, and worst of all, you start believing someone else is the author.
Tamarasubstack.comTamara on Substack
Often today, those who suffer from mental-health issues are encouraged by well-meaning awareness groups to claim proud ownership of their troubled inner lives. So rather than feel stigmatised, a sufferer might seek dignity by identifying with her depression. That proud identification might be helpful in the short term (and certainly to disparage pe
... See moreDerren Brown • Happy: Why More or Less Everything is Absolutely Fine
This is a book about how we can benefit by turning toward our emotional pain.
Christopher Germer • The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions
In contrast, victimhood comes from the inside. No one can make you a victim but you. We become victims not because of what happens to us but when we choose to hold on to our victimization. We develop a victim’s mind—a way of thinking and being that is rigid, blaming, pessimistic, stuck in the past, unforgiving, punitive, and without healthy limits
... See moreEdith Eger • The Choice
This is the spirit of delighting in what we see rather than despairing in what we see. It’s the spirit of letting compassionate self-reflection build confidence rather than becoming a cause for depression.
Pema Chodron • Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears
The second part of the growth journey for this type involves recognizing how they try to be understood and appreciated by over-focusing on their suffering as a way to earn love, and acknowledging, owning, and integrating all the positive aspects of their life experience. When they do this, they learn to identify less with what they perceive as a de
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