stop telling your friend to dump her evil boyfriend

During the Covid pandemic, Pete and I spoke by phone. In the beginning, I made the mistake of trying to advise him about how he could lift his depression. He had earlier gone to Vietnam to perform eye surgeries for those who were too poor to afford them. I told him he should do that again, since he found it so tremendously rewarding. I did not
... See moreDavid Brooks • How Do You Serve a Friend in Despair?
But my body does not like them. One man talks about his failures in a tone that implies he's uncomfortable with himself, like somewhere deep down a part of him believes he's a bad person, and it seems that many of his bids for social approval are attempts to be reassured that he is in fact okay.
I get it, humans - me included - are like this... See more
I get it, humans - me included - are like this... See more
Aella • The Difficulty In Dating Good Men
I think it’s easy to feel paranoid and judged when you feel like you have no option but to keep every friendship alive no matter what. In your mind, if a friendship starts to go very bad, you only have two choices: Fix it, or ghost them. In my opinion, these are control tactics. Instead of admitting that some friends have mixed feelings about us —... See more
'My Friend Is an Asshole!'
But telling rigid stories instead of talking directly isn’t a good habit. You’re like a referee, always making calls arbitrarily without learning more about yourself and your friend. I’m not saying there aren’t some friends that are very hard to speak to honestly and openly. But you still need to know that when something important comes up, you’re... See more