over and over again of people who have received safety then found ways to help others, such as non-Christians

Safe people, for example, admit their weaknesses. They are humble. And they prove their trustworthiness over time.

Safe people respect our right to make decisions and adult choices. Unsafe people resist our adult functioning. They “don’t agree with our right” to an opinion, a value, or a decision. Unsafe people react to our adultness by withdrawing from it.

That’s how envy can spoil safety. Envy makes us resent people who have something we don’t have. It feeds on itself and is ultimately self-destructive. When we envy, the very people who are loving, safe, and generous become the bad guys in our eyes.

God does not use religious terms and language when he discusses people. He talks about how people treat him and others, and whether or not they get things done as they said they would. In short, he looks at someone’s character. He is looking at their makeup as a person and the way that that character interacts with him and the world.

He knew that he had to be connected somewhere, grounded somewhere, since everything in his life had disappeared. All

2. Unsafe people are religious instead of spiritual.

Unsafe people will never identify with others as fellow sinners and strugglers, because they see themselves as somehow “above all of that.” This “I’m better than you” dynamic produces a lot of shame and guilt in people who are associated with this type of unsafe person.

Because the irresponsible has problems in delaying gratification, he or she often becomes alcoholic, addicted to sexual gratification, and in debt.