Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't

Feeling disconnected. Intimacy is built on sharing weaknesses, and friendship involves sharing vulnerabilities.

don’t go to them for relationship, for their truth often comes poisoned with judgmentalism.

In safe relationships, empathy is a large part of the equation. We literally “enter the other person’s head” and attempt to understand how he feels, what he believes, and how he thinks. Empathy is walking in the moccasins of another person, and not judging him until we can see what suffering he’s been through to get to the point he’s at. Empathy is

The truth is, however, that sorry is as sorry does. The Bible’s word for this is repentance, and it means a true turnaround. But unlike the “spins” that this man had made, a true turnaround is one that lasts. That does not mean that there is perfect behavior after that point, but that the change is real and that it bears fruit over time.

over and over again of people who have received safety then found ways to help others, such as non-Christians

Because the irresponsible has problems in delaying gratification, he or she often becomes alcoholic, addicted to sexual gratification, and in debt.

1. Unsafe people think they “have it all together” instead of admitting their weaknesses.

Envy makes generosity sound unfair. It is the opposite of love, which “does not envy . . . but rejoices with the truth” (1 Cor. 13:4, 6).

Safe people, for example, admit their weaknesses. They are humble. And they prove their trustworthiness over time.