It’s no wonder research has repeatedly shown that dating app use has a direct correlation to body shame and lower self-esteem.1 Even worse, a study revealed that despite all the technology making us more “accessible” than ever, three out of four Americans struggle with loneliness.

Operating in the anxious space between notions of health and toxicity, relationship apps teach us ways of loving that privilege efficiency over depth, quantifiability over knowledge, and success over joy.

Apps primarily give us a list of résumé traits and nothing more. Only by spending time with someone can you appreciate that person for the “experiential good” they are.