Relationships are coevolutionary loops

There is a corollary for relationships. Some relationships are hard, or even impossible, to change. As an individual, you grow—but your father won’t acknowledge that change or adapt to it, and the relationship gets stuck. Other relationships are fluid and open-ended, they grow to fit you better and better the more time you invest in them, like an o... See more

I kept a notebook where I jotted down things I wanted to google and twice a week I’d go down to the local library, look at the list, and say, why on earth did I want to know Justin Bieber’s net worth? And then I’d go home again, to read and write, listen and talk.

It was the first time Johanna and I had lived together, so we spent much time talking about how to go about our lives.

She wanted to live frugally, she wanted to have the autonomy to pursue her interests without thinking about money, and this meant she was going somewhere no one wanted to live so rent was cheap.

It is rare for people to come into themselves if no one is excited and curious about their core, their potential. We need someone who gives us space to unfold.