For particularly devastating and unprecedented changes—experiences like loss, illness, and identity crises—the psychological immune system does not work immediately. It takes time to marshal the resources necessary

Well, this is what is happening now, so I will focus on what I can control, try not to obsess over what I can’t, and do the best I can. I’ve faced other challenges and other seasons of doubt and despair, and I’ve come out the other side.

The goal of rugged flexibility is to get to a favorable reorder; to maintain a strong core identity, but at the same time, to adapt, evolve, and grow. Unlike old ways of approaching change, rugged flexibility conceives of change not as an acute event that happens to you, but rather as a constant of life, a cycle in which you are an ongoing

a secure confidence borne out of the evidence-based belief that you are capable of showing up and taking deliberate actions during difficulties.

The first core quality of rugged flexibility is opening to the flow of life.

If you expect and predict life to be hard, then you won’t be surprised when it is—which in and of itself makes life easier, and also improves your chances of finding equanimity and meaning amidst change and struggle.

the most fluid, and I’d argue the most advantageous, way to conceive of one’s “self” is that it can be both independent and interdependent.

But if you can know and trust in your core values, essentially knowing and trusting in the deepest parts of yourself, then you can courageously walk forward into the unknown.

Nearly everything about social media and cable news teaches us to react instead of respond.