love is an allowing
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Boundaries are not saying no.
Or making sure something doesn't happen.
Or distancing.
Or even letting yourself have wants in the face of others'.
A boundary is simply "If you do X, I will do Y."
Good boundaries:
- don't require anything from the other person
- are kind for the other person
- bring you closer emotionally (i.e. you find the per... See more
Practicing love often means feeling through fear: intentionally opening yourself when you would rather close down, giving yourself when you would rather hide. Love means recognizing yourself as the open fullness of this moment regardless of its contents—trenchant thoughts, enchanting pleasures, heavy emotions, or gnawing pains—and surrendering all
... See moreDavid Deida • The Enlightened Sex Manual: Sexual Skills for the Superior Lover
Boundaries actually cure problems of irresponsibility, domination, and manipulation. When someone who is out of control encounters a person who cannot be controlled, he is then faced with the reality of his own consequences and frailties.
John Townsend • Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
Some people aren’t ready for uninhibited love. If your lover is a person who has been abused in the past, he or she may need well-established boundaries in order to grow: You are allowed to say you’re angry, but not to shout it. Or, you are allowed to shout your anger, but not to touch your lover angrily. Boundaries provide a sense of safety, which
... See more