There are no legal mandates anywhere on earth that food fish or shrimp be killed in a minimally painful way. Often, they asphyx -iate after being hauled into boats. It can take hours. Tofu is cheap. So are beans.

“Ethical cannibalism” is the idea that — wait, I’m kidding, come back. I’ve talked about everything from battery cages to zooplankton. What about the actual humans who produce the food? Well, I care about them too. I try to keep up with boycotts, to buy slavery-free chocolate, etc