In New York, people speak fast. In the American South, they speak slowly. Both of them are a form of politeness, understood in a different way. In New York, you speak quickly because you respect the value of the other person’s time and you don’t want to take up too much of it. In the South, you speak slowly because you want to respect the person by showing how much of your own time you are prepared to give to them.

Adam Grant • Are We Too Impatient to Be Intelligent?

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But the greatest benefit of disagreeing well is not just that it will make conversations better, but that it will make the people who have them happier. If you study conversations, you find there is a lot more meanness down in DH1 than up in DH6. You don't have to be mean when you have a real point to make. In fact, you don't want to. If you have s... See more

paulgraham.com • How to Disagree

“social interaction is not very uncertain, because of the principle of reciprocity. If you say hello to someone, they’ll typically say hello back to you. If you give somebody a compliment, they’ll typically say thank you.” Many people, it seems, are not social enough for their own good. They too often seek comfort in solitude, when they would actua... See more

Derek Thompson • The Anti-Social Century

A study of Japanese businesspeople found that they are typically comfortable with eight-second pauses between one comment and another, roughly twice as long as Americans generally tolerate. They’re wise to take that pause.

David Brooks • How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

Rory Sutherland, vice chairman of the Ogilvy advertising agency, famously told a story about an office building where people complained that an elevator took too long to arrive. Instead of spending $1 million to make the elevators 5 percent faster, they solved the problem by spending around $100 to add mirrors so people could look at themselves whi... See more

Sari Azout • The End of Productivity

—The next time you’re in a meeting, notice the pace of your own speech and that of others. Do people listen more when you slow down? Can you force yourself to speak uncomfortably slowly? What difference does that make?

Viv Groskop • How to Own the Room: Women and the Art of Brilliant Speaking

Sari Azout • The End of Productivity

Argue like you’re right and listen like you’re wrong.”

Adam Grant • Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World

The general assumption driven by these optimization models is always that faster is better. I think there are things we need to deliberately and consciously slow down for our own sanity and for our own productivity. If we don’t ask that question about what those things are, I think we’ll get things terribly, terribly wrong.

paulgraham.com • How to Disagree

Derek Thompson • The Anti-Social Century

David Brooks • How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

Sari Azout • The End of Productivity

Viv Groskop • How to Own the Room: Women and the Art of Brilliant Speaking

Sari Azout • The End of Productivity

Adam Grant • Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World

Rory Sutherland • Are We Too Impatient to Be Intelligent?