i think my son hates me
these parents may manage to fulfil all the requirements society sets regarding primary care, such as providing clothing and schooling, yet in these cases, the lack of outside corroboration of what is happening can make the invisible wounds more psychologically damaging. In some homes, there is even the pressure to maintain the illusion of a happy f
... See moreImi Lo • Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity: How to manage intense emotions as a highly sensitive person - learn more about yourself with this life-changing self help book (Teach Yourself)
evanovich added
And that’s the first reason Winnicott gives for the mother’s “hatred” of the child: “the baby is not her own (mental) conception.” On the one hand that is what makes a child so genuinely amazing: their potential to surprise us with their development, their unfurling beyond what we know or could imagine. It is also what makes the child infuriating:
... See moreJessie Munton • Slaves to Love | The Point Magazine
sari added
I call my mother to ask if the emotions I feel are hereditary. My father is on the line, too, but I don’t dare ask the same question. My mother once told me he was hard on me because he saw too much of himself in me. I think of all the times my father explained my outbursts to my mother, the look of arrogance on his face as I reluctantly admitted h... See more
Wenyi Xue • we fear no god but each other
And then it occurs to me: If to my father I am an object of love-hate, both a best friend and an adversary, to my mother I am not even a person.
Gary Shteyngart • Little Failure: A Memoir
Seeking reassurance during that first year of parenting two, I turned to the work of the pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott. He is perhaps best known for his concept of the “good-enough mother,” the caregiver who, through sometimes failing and frustrating their child, ultimately facilitates the development of the child’s ability to co
... See moreJessie Munton • Slaves to Love | The Point Magazine
sari added
It’s a strange thing, being the parent of a teenager. One thing to raise a little boy, another entirely when a person on the brink of adulthood looks to you for wisdom. I feel like I have little to give. I know there are fathers who see the world a certain way, with clarity and confidence, who know just what to say to their sons and daughters. But
... See moreBlake Crouch • Dark Matter: A Novel
J’avais, à l’époque, la faiblesse de penser être un père disponible, présent, très proche d’eux. J’étais persuadé de les connaître intimement. De partager l’essentiel de leur vie. En réalité, ils voyaient en moi une sorte d’inadapté social, de collatéral perturbant, brouillant les repères, vivant sans horaires, ni projet, ni but, jouant les hommes
... See moreJean-Paul Dubois • Une vie française - Prix Femina 2004 (French Edition)
Similarly, because children cannot easily leave an offending situation, they are prey to powerful, limitless longings to fix the broken person they so completely depend on. It becomes, in the infantile imagination, the child’s responsibility to mend the anger, addiction or sadness of the grown-up they adore. It may be the work of decades to develop
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