evanovich
@evancm
Nerdy yet sturdy, a gay elder millennial at play,
respect how design and tech intersect, programs and projects I direct each day.
I chase personal grace, laced with insight in every space,
as nature’s hidden rapture captures my artful embrace.
-Benjamin Franklin
Emotional inertia (in relationships & life)
What it is (one line):
Yesterday’s emotional state predicts today’s—affect and its behaviors resist change.
Relation to abusive relationships:
Chronic fear/shame states carry into each day; you anticipate harm and behave small, confirming the cycle.
When does it happen?
Under stress, poor sleep, low novelty;
I wish I had discovered this when stuck in my marriage. I don’t know if I could have acted on it at the time but it may have shortened the climb (still climbing) out. Woof.
Solid insights.
Who benefits from me believing this information is true?
A great critical thinking maxim, in this case quoted from Strong Ground by Brené Brown.
As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself. Hiding your core feelings takes an enormous amount of energy, it saps your motivation to pursue worthwhile goals, and it leaves you feeling bored and shut down.
“True fellowship among people must be based upon a concern that is universal. It is not the private interests of the individual that create lasting fellowship, but rather the goals of humanity.”
#13 - Fellowship with Men, I Ching
[In recent times, with so much celebrated lack of nuance, monetized antagonisms and gamified divisiveness, for some, this
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