I Am Me Before I Am Anything Else

This essay is a combination of personal reflection on the self and identity labels, the restrictions that label-based belonging imposes and the discomfort that freedom can bring. Included are good mental models, praise for values-based life navigation, and interpretations of popular culture.

"When you make that shift internally, what happens is, you release the ego from having to cling to that belief, right? Models should prove things. And models also need to be tested, right? Because you always want to see if you're right or not." — Jim

"I always insist on my agency as a thinker. I have the right to read what I like to read. I think that is actually more radical: to insist that because I have my own mind, I will be influenced by whom I choose, and I will write what I choose." — Ocean Vuong

When approached with caution, labels can genuinely be useful to us and others. We just have to periodically check in with ourselves to make sure we are not being controlled and consumed by our labels.

The upside is so powerful that it often masks the downside, which is why so many people find themselves in a state of automaton conformity:

• we gain a community that (superficially) makes us feel secure; we do not feel isolated or out of place or weird;


• we are provided with (and rewarded for taking) shortcuts for what to believe in, what to do, and

... See more

When you define yourself around an identity label you forfeit your ability to self-govern and to discern what you genuinely believe from what others tell you to believe. By defining your self around an identity label, you necessarily allow said label to supersede your self. Most importantly, this identity-first approach (i.e., viewing yourself and ... See more

So, why are we so drawn to labels? When we label ourselves, we are in essence joining a community built around that label... The downside, if we ever realize it, is that we lose our genuine selves...

After letting go of the guilt associated with “losing” core parts of myself, I quickly realized how nurturing it was to function as me first. My curiosity skyrocketed because I felt safe questioning; I became less dogmatic and even grew proud of the ability to change my mind when presented with new information; my sense of self was no longer fragil... See more

A news story is released, and many people will immediately respond in very predictable and scripted ways. Typically, their response is almost verbatim what their affiliated groups (e.g., religious, political) tout. If they are silent, they risk being labeled as ignorant at best or affiliates of the “opposing” group (along with a string of character... See more