Threats delivered without anger but with “poise”—that is, confidence and self-control—are great tools. Saying, “I’m sorry that just doesn’t work for me,” with poise, works.

Sharing your anger. You can share your negative feelings in an open, respectful way that preserves the other person’s sense of self-esteem and dignity. This is the least popular option, but by far the most effective.

“Come hell or high water, short of outright physical self-defense, I will not indulge in words or behaviors that are disrespectful to any other human being. And neither will I sit passively by if someone is disrespectful to me. I will ask them to speak differently to me, and if that doesn’t work, I will break the interaction and leave. But I won’t