How to Be a More Interesting Conversationalist

• Be careful with business acquaintances. You wouldn’t want to open a conversation with: How’s your job at______? What if that person just got fired or laid off? Be careful when you’re asking about an acquaintance’s spouse or special friend; you could regret it. • Don’t act like you’re an FBI agent. Questions like What do you do?, Are you married?,

Third, ask open-ended questions to get your responder to go deeper. Closed-ended questions, or questions with yes-or-no answers, neither encourage conversation nor spark new ideas in your respondent. Think like a journalist, which in a sense you are, and ask the questions a reporter would ask: What, who, why, when, where, and how questions push the

ask questions of your conversation partner that begin with “How…?” and “What…?” That is, questions that invite open-ended, constructive answers, rather than “Why…?” questions that demand justifications or “Do you…?” questions with yes/no answers.

Everyone is interesting if you make the situation feel safe. Here’s a summary of good conversation technique. Ask questions. Don’t complain (much). Don’t talk about boring experiences (TV show, meal, dream, etc.). Don’t dominate the conversation. Let others talk. Don’t get stuck on a topic. Keep moving. Planning is useful but it isn’t conversation.

Ask. Start by simply expressing interest in the other person’s views. • Mirror. Increase safety by respectfully acknowledging the emotions people appear to be feeling. • Paraphrase. As others begin to share part of their story, restate what you’ve heard to show not just that you understand, but also that it’s safe for others to share what they’re t