I once believed love was a spark—those fleeting moments of wonder. The rush of a first date, the dance of discovering someone new. They felt like the pinnacle, the beating heart of the story. But now, I see those moments differently. They’re the invitation, the toll paid to enter the deeper connection terrain. They’re the prologue, not the essence.... See more

There is a good deal of implicit sentiment around relationships that troubles me, because it assumes a fundamentally defensive posture: You have to be happy first, you should date around a lot, you should reject quickly and on small pretenses, you shouldn’t take dating too seriously, etc. For some even attachment is a dirty word! 1 All of this is... See more

Falling in love seems to happen mostly either by a process of osmosis or simple familiarity (and a lot of waiting) or by setting intentions of seriousness and weeding out partners who don’t share them. Sometimes, it happens randomly. Sparks fly. You’re reminded why there’s so much poetry, so much music, so many stories, so many cautionary tales... See more