Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power (A method for getting what you want by getting off on what you don't)

The Basque word for witch, sorginak, means “one who makes her own fate.”

You see, every unpleasant feeling we have has an unconscious motivation. Some part of us believes that by feeling the yucky feeling, we'll “get” something that will enhance our survival.

Once you accept how thoroughly you cherish being broke and having this anxiety about paying the bills, the entrancing spell of the game is broken, and you'll find yourself drawn into a new game, with new stakes that are more mesmerizing than the last ones.

“Fear is excitement without the breath,” as Fritz Perls said. Well, often sensations that we experience as terrible or painful are just pleasure without approval.

If you want to know who you unconsciously believe you are, just take a look at your life, your surroundings, your relationship. Your life mirrors those deep beliefs.

“I'm willing to stop pretending I don't enjoy XYZ tremendously.” or “I'm willing to allow myself to know about my secret, weird pleasure in XYZ.” or “It's okay for me to feel my forbidden, wicked enjoyment of XYZ without having to judge it negatively or disown it.” You

Shame is the magic-killer

Hell yeah, I generated this! Hell yeah, a part of me fucking loves it and that part of me deserves to enjoy itself too, because every part of me is worthy and awesome, including the perverse shadowy parts!

because I have deep fear that receiving that much valuing would threaten my story about myself (that I'm bad, dubious, wrong).