Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power (A method for getting what you want by getting off on what you don't)

it's very important that you let kinky enjoyment, pure and simple, be far, far more important to you than the “change” that you consciously want to bring about.

So you see, the “don't like” situation of “people in my social group criticizing me” was just a side-effect of Elsie's unconscious attraction to the emotional experience of anxiety/excitement.

It's impossible to desire something without also fearing it a bit, and it's impossible to fear and dislike something without also desiring it.

Dear Universe, I ask that you remove these fears. I pray only for knowledge of your will for me and the power to carry it out. Thank you.

You see, every unpleasant feeling we have has an unconscious motivation. Some part of us believes that by feeling the yucky feeling, we'll “get” something that will enhance our survival.

The fundamental tantric idea is that it's important to work with the strong energies of attraction and aversion, pleasure and pain, to facilitate awakening, rather than avoiding them. Why? Because avoiding desire, aggression, and socially taboo experience doesn't help; avoidance only deepens the trap of aversion and

Two of the most popular TV series in the world at the time of me writing this book, for example, are Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead. Both shows feature big piles of violence, grief, pain, and horror. There are also heroines and heroes striving epically against all odds to survive and help others to survive as well. These shows are terrifying

Hell yeah, I generated this! Hell yeah, a part of me fucking loves it and that part of me deserves to enjoy itself too, because every part of me is worthy and awesome, including the perverse shadowy parts!

But if you're bringing a “don't like” situation to mind in order to practice giving yourself deep permission to feel hot, nasty, electric joy about it, well then, that's quite a bit different, isn't it? Because in this later scenario, you aren't wallowing in negativity; you're wallowing in hot electric bliss.

You constantly communicate with your own individual unconscious and with the collective unconscious. You constantly perform who you believe yourself to be, as well as projecting the social identity and conditioning that you have imbibed. And since your performance of your identity entails a perpetual communication with your unconscious and the coll