Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

When it’s safe, you can say anything.

When it’s unsafe, you start to go blind.

When you have a tough message to share, or when you are so convinced of your own rightness that you may push too hard, remember to STATE your path: • Share your facts. Start with the least controversial, most persuasive elements from your Path to Action. • Tell your story. Explain what you’re beginning to conclude. • Ask for others’ paths. Encourag

Remember, to know and not to do is really not to know.

DIALOGUE When it comes to risky, controversial, and emotional conversations, skilled people find a way to get all relevant information (from themselves and others) out into the open. That’s

Break free of these Fool’s Choices by searching for the and.

When others move to silence or violence, step out of the conversation and Make It Safe. When safety is restored, go back to the issue at hand and continue the dialogue.

What do I really want for myself? What do I really want for others? What do I really want for the relationship? Once you’ve asked yourself what you want, add one more equally telling question: How would I behave if I really wanted these results?

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. —GEORGE BERNARD SHAW